CRIPPLES, BASTARDS AND BROKEN THINGS
More sexy, sword swinging fun this week on HBO’s Game of Thrones as a surprising arrest is made, Dany kicks some butt, Jon makes a new friend, and Ned wades knee-deep through the political filth of King’s Landing.
“I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things ” ~ TyrionLannister
Tyrion makes his way to Winterfell where he is not welcome, that is, until he produces the blue-print plans for a saddle that will enable Bran to ride again. Robb is shocked, then grateful (belatedly) and after he makes the offer, Robb lets him stay in Winterfell but Tyrion says he’d prefer to stay at a brothel since he knows that he is not welcome there and wants to spare Robb and himself the discomfort of false pleasantries.
Tyrion remains one of my fave characters; he’s smart mouthed and smart as a whip. He tells it like it is and for a Lannister, he’s without pretense. Tyrion genuinely likes Jon and doesn’t mind the rest of the Starks in spite of his family’s snobbery. He asks what Bran remembers about his fall but finds that Bran remembers nothing. I think Tyrion knows Bran saw something he wasn’t supposed to see and wants confirmation of that fact.
“You don’t know cold…neither of you do…and come the winter, you will die like flies” ~Ser Alliser Thorne
Jon makes friends by teaching the boys how to fight. Jon is a great fighter; he takes out 3 guys! During practice, he meets a chubby, bumbling kid named Sam Tarly. Sam tells Jon he’s a coward and let’s the boys beat up on him. Jon steps in and prevents Sam from getting throttled.
Later on, Jon asks Sam why he’s on the Wall, as it’s very apparent that he’s no hardened criminal since he’s afraid of his own shadow. Sam’s story is BRUTAL. On his eighteenth birthday, his father sent him to take the black, and forfeit his rights to all his lands and titles or he would kill him and tell his mother that it was a hunting accident. WOW. That’s HARSH. You really feel for Sam here; and Jon, ever the good soul, has taken Sam under his wing. He protects Sam by telling the other boys to leave him alone and not attack him in the practice yard. Jon even goes so far as to threaten Sam’s tormentor’s with Ghost, his dire wolf. The next day, the boys refuse to attack Sam at practice. Mission accomplished!
“You are a horselord slut and now you have woken the Dragon!” ~ Viserys Targaryen
“I am a Khalesi of the Dothraki. I am the wife of the Great Khal and I carry his son inside me. The next time youraise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands!” ~ Danerys Targaryen
OH NO SHE DIDN’T! She did, and I for one, am damned glad! Dany’s slowly been asserting her authority and standing up to her prick brother. Apparently, you can’t invite Viserys to dinner because he will beat you senseless – he’s not a very good guest. Viserys is crazy, he thinks everything is a slight…unstable much? The look on his face as she utters that line is priceless. He’s in shock that she would dare speak to him in that manner, being that she’s normally timid and has always listened to him.
Dany and the Dothraki arrive at the City of Vaes Dothrak – the Dothraki capital and Viserys is pissed that they are marching in the wrong direction. According to Ser Jorah, the Dothraki have never crossed the Narrow Sea and they normally won’t cross water deeper than their horses can drink. I think getting them to cross is going to be a bit more difficult than Viserys thinks. Dany and Ser Jorah realise that Viserys would make a terrible King and that under his command, they will never go home.
Speaking of jerk-face…
Viserys soaks in a tub with Dany’s servant girl and we learn a bit more about Dragons and Viserys’s past. The Dragons died out years ago and Viserys tells her that he has seen their skulls decorate the room of the Iron Throne. When he was young, he knew how to recite every single one of their names. He then recites the names of the Dragons as he screws her. This scene was just weird.
“I was also trained to kill my enemies, your Grace” ~ Eddard Stark
“As was I….” ~ Cersei Lannister
Ned has a lot on his plate…
Sansa is unhappy because she has realised that Joff hates her, the City Watch are complaining about the crowds due to the Tourney, and Ned is busy running around trying to solve a murder. Since he’s left Winterfell, nothing seems to be going well for Ned.
Ned asks the Grand Maester about Jon Arryn. He is told the sickness that took him was hard and fast. He was fine the night before and died very quickly. Ned finds out that Jon was inquiring after a book, one that detailed the history of the Kings and that he kept repeating the phrase: “The seed is strong”, just before he died. None of this makes any sense to Ned, but he asks the Grand Maester for the book anyways. Ned suggests that Jon was poisoned and notes that poison is a woman’s weapon.
Ned watches Arya train with Syrio – she’s getting pretty good! She asks after Bran and has a conversation with Ned about her future; when he tells her that she will marry a High Lord one day and have sons who will be knights and princes, she tells him very plainly that that’s not her. Arya is not Sansa, which makes her so much more likable. She’s a total tomboy and has a lot of spunk both in the books and the show. I really like how they’ve translated her character to the big screen.
Ned gets a little insider’s tour of Littlefinger’s spy network, and he points out Cersei’s, and Varys’s (“theSpider’s) spies. Spies are everywhere! Ned’s really in a cesspit. On Littlefinger’s suggestion, he visits the blacksmith that Jon Arryn went to see. He notices the blacksmith’s apprentice, a young man named Gendry bears a striking resemblance to King Robert and Ned realises that Gendry is one of Robert’s bastards! Is Gendry being hidden here? Was Jon aware of this fact and trying to hide him from Cersei? Ned also sends one of his aides to try and speak to Ser Hugh of the Vale, a new knight and former squire to Jon Arryn to see if he can’t get some answers about Jon’s death. Unfortunately, Ser Hugh is a jerk and brushes off Ned’s man with a very snotty, ‘I’m a knight, you’re nobody,…later’ type-attitude. It seems that all of Ned’s inquiries are leading to a dead end.
Ned comes back to the castle and notices Jaime standing outside King Robert’s door. We can hear the sounds of female laughter and Robert carrying on inside. Jaime is PISSED. He hates that Robert posts him outside his door when he screws other women and insults his sister. As much as I normally hate Jaime, in this brief moment, I get why he hates Robert and wants him dead. Who wants to stand outside the door while their brother-in-law bangs other women? Seriously Robert? No, like really ?! I’d want to kill you too.
Tourney time – the expensive “Tourney of the Hand” in Ned’s honour…the unnecessary tourney that Ned wanted stopped. Oh well, so much for that. Littlefinger meets Sansa and they watch the jousting together. John’s old squire, Ser Hugh, goes up against Ser Gregor Clegane, a.k.a “The Mountain that Rides”. He is killed instantly when Ser Gregor’s lance pierces his neck and spears him through the throat. It’s a very bloody, don’t-eat-while-watching-this scene. Is it murder? Ser Hugh was connected to Jon and it might be that with Ned snooping around, he was a marked man. This is just something to chew on….it just seemed a bit suspicious that he went down so easily, and right after Ned tried to have him questioned about Jon. Littlefinger tells Sansa about the Hound and Ser Gregor Clegane. Apparently, Ser Clegane has a penchant for violence – when they were children, he burned his brother, Sandor’s (“The Hound”) face in a fire on purpose for taking one of his toys. Not a guy you want to mess with EVER.
Saving the best for last….
“This man came into my house as a guest and there conspired to murder my son, a boy of ten. In the name of King Robert and the good lords you serve, I call upon you to seize him and help me return him to Winterfell to await the King’s justice!” ~ Catelyn Stark
SHUT-UP! The final scene of this episode is a shocker!
Catelyn comes to an Inn on her way home and Tyrion happens to walk in and notice her. Cat gets up, calls on all her father’s former bannermen in the bar and tells them that Tyrion is Bran’s assassin and commands them to arrest him! We all know Tyrion didn’t do it, he’s being totally set up, but unfortunately he’s in the wrong place, at the wrong time and he’s now taking the fall for his ‘beloved family’. My only comment is – You wound me Tyrion…you know how much your family loves you ;) NOT. Tyrion looks on aghast as swords are drawn and he has no place to run. His future is not looking too bright right now.
The show ended on a dramatic cliffhanger! There are still many questions surrounding Bran and Jon Arryn, winter is coming to the Wall, Dany is set to overtake her brother, and Tyrion’s fate seems grim. Don’t forget to tune in to Game of Thrones on HBO this Sunday at 9pm to watch it all unfold in the next exciting episode entitled, “The Wolf and the Lion”.